beta
beta
A Premature Arrival
The co-founder of bellybrief is a meticulous planner, but learned as many of us do that motherhood has a way of turning plans on their heads. Noelle discusses her experiences getting pregnant and the first month of her premature baby’s life in the NICU.
What were your first thoughts or feelings when you found out?
I was shocked, happy and scared all at the same time. I was shocked because although we were trying, it was the first month we started trying and it took me off guard. I had very irregular periods so I had no idea when I was ovulating. Due to my lack of ovulation awareness, I was convinced it would take me minimum 1 year to get pregnant and I guess I wasn’t totally ready to have a baby. It’s true what they say though, you’re never really “ready” for a baby, so once it settled in I was very happy and grateful, with a side of scared.
Did you do anything special to plan for your pregnancy?
I’m guilty of being an over planner. So you can probably guess that I had a plan for when I was going to get pregnant and wanted to be as prepared as possible before we started trying. However, when I stopped the birth control pill it took me a few months to get my period back, which obviously is an issue for my “plan”. After about three months of no period I decided to take matters into my own hands. A friend recommend a fertility naturopath and she was the best thing that ever happened to me. Not only did she calm my fears, explaining that it’s normal for some women to go 4 months to even 1 year with no periods after stopping the birth control pill, but she also set out a plan for me to get me pregnant asap. First she suggested I gain some weight! Apparently I didn’t have enough body fat to get pregnant– fine by me I love to eat! She also prescribed some natural vitamins to help my hormones balance and to boost ovulation. This naturopath estimated I would be pregnant by June, even though I didn’t even want to be pregnant that quickly… guess what she was right! To anyone who has irregular periods, I suggest going to a fertility naturopath first to see if it’s an issue you can fix easily and naturally.
However, when I stopped the birth control pill it took me a few months to get my period back, which obviously is an issue for my “plan”.
You had a surprise birth experience with baby Wyatt knocking on the door a lot earlier than expected. What was that like?
My little guy was born 6 weeks premature. The odds of having a baby prematurely are only about 3 to 5%, so obviously I didn’t think much about what would happen if I didn’t carry my baby to full term. We spent one month in the hospital after he was born, mostly just working on feeding (babies born early don’t usually have the “sucking” thing mastered just yet to eat) and while we were there he developed something called ”necrotizing colitis”, which is basically a very serious bowel infection (worst week of my life). Premature babies born at 34 weeks recover fully and live a very normal life, but I still worry deep down that he will be delayed in some way for the rest of his life. I couldn’t help but blame myself for his prematurity even though I knew it wasn’t my fault. I felt I had failed him even before he was born and I’m still dealing with it day by day. It helps me to read about mothers who went through the same thing, so if anyone has any questions please send me a note!
Can you share with us your neonatal intensive care unit (“NICU”) experience?
The NICU is sad, scary and amazing all at the same time. It’s sad because you see so many babies with various issues and you can’t help but think that it’s really not fair that an innocent baby is going through this. It’s also very scary because you’re not sure if your baby is going to be ok. Each day when I walked into the NICU my stomach was in knots and I held my breathe, terrified I would hear bad news. They call the NICU experience an emotional rollercoaster because one day your baby is doing so well and the next day he/she may not be. Finally, the NICU is amazing because of how they care for theses babies and how modern technology can bring these beautiful babies back to full health. I’m so thankful to all the amazing doctors and nurses in the NICU- they truly are incredible.
My little guy was born 6 weeks premature. The odds of having a baby prematurely are only about 3 to 5%, so obviously I didn’t think much about what would happen if I didn’t carry my baby to full term.
What were you worried about most while your baby was in the NICU?
I was worried and I’m still worried that my son will always be a bit delayed. That he somehow won’t be as good or as “normal” as other children and it’s because of me. He was 6 weeks early and I’ve been told numerous times that 34-week old babies make a full recovery and live wonderful “normal” lives, but I think I’ll always be a bit worried about that.
Any tips for helping parents bond with their baby in the NICU?
Hands down the number one thing to do with your baby in the NICU (if you can) is SKIN-TO-SKIN. Skin-to-skin or “kangaroo care” is when you lay your baby on your chest (baby’s chest on mommy’s chest) and both of you are topless. There is a lot of research that proves skin-to-skin is healing for both mother and baby (fathers are encouraged to do this as well). Not only does this help develop and maintain your breastmilk supply, but it will help you connect and bond with your baby (they claim it even helps to heal your baby). I tried to do skin-to-skin with my son most of the day and I swear that’s why he’s amazing at breastfeeding.
I felt very alone and sad at times (the hormones from labour did not help either), which is why it’s important to connect with other mothers that have gone through it.
How did you cope with your worry and fear during the NICU process? Where did you look for help and support?
It was hard for me to reach out to people during this time, because I felt no one could understand this experience unless they had gone through it. I felt very alone and sad at times (the hormones from labour did not help either), which is why it’s important to connect with other mothers that have gone through it. It was helpful for me to meet the other mothers in the NICU and share our experiences, even though it was hard to talk about. I’m thankful for two mothers in particular that talked me through a very difficult moment when I had just found out my son had “NEC” (bowel infection). I also found it helpful to meditate. I’m terrible at meditation but a friend recommended these meditation mini podcasts by Chel Hamilton that were very healing. Finally, it’s important to lean on your partner for support. My husband was so wonderful, I could not have asked for a better partner. He cooked, he cleaned and he was strong for me– the NICU experience definitely brought us closer together.
What are the top 3 things you are researching these days?
- Baby gear – I still want to know if I purchased the best gear for my baby and if not I’ll return it or re-sell it.
- Baby Food- It’s time to start solids for my little baby. That means I’m freaking out and must research research research! What type of food should I start with? when? how much? and so on….
- Sleep schedules/training—I’m lacking sleep right now so my goal is to figure out how and when I’ll get some sleep- stay tuned!
